And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college.

[Dean:] Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations
on your upcoming graduation and I understand
you are interested in matriculating here in the fall.

[Buffoon:] I got a snake, man!

[Dean:] Yes, pets are welcome here on campus.
Be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile.

[Buffoon:] One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that!
It was all fucked up!

[Dean:] I'm sure it was.
Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students
and pets here on campus.

[Buffoon:] Fuckin' Shit!

[Dean:] Yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy.
So tell me a little bit more about your background.

[Buffoon:] My father's a fucking asshole, man!

[Dean:] Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son.

[Buffoon:] My mother's a piece of shit too!

[Dean:] Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility
over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed
and ready to learn.

[Buffoon:] My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man!
She had her head way up her ass!

[Dean:] Well the quality of the faculty at a University
such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school.

[Buffoon:] Your secretary's a real fat bitch, man!

[Dean:] Yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success.

[Buffoon:] I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!

[Dean:] Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug,
never a pleasurable experience.
So have you given any thought to your choice of major?

[Buffoon:] I've got a big fucking boner right now.

[Dean:] I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods
of nervous tension. I do not take offense.

[Buffoon:] One time I ate my neighbors shit!

[Dean:] That's understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you.
We'll be sending you our decision by the end of the month.

[Buffoon:] I bet you got really hairy balls.

[Dean:] Yes, it's a veritable forest down there. Bye bye.