1. Johnny Don't Do It
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny was an angel
An angel dressed in black
He used to hang around the guys
Down at the local track
He tried so hard to join them
But they always turned him back
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
He was only 17
Just got out of school
He stole a bike from Joe's garage
To prove that he was cool
He didn't know that the brakes were worn
And fate can be so cruel
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Well Johnny went a riding
With his girlfriend on the back seat
Looking for some action
And they found it down a back street
Suddenly a truck pulled out
He tried to step on the brake
Johnny don't do it (Here is a news flash)
Johnny don't do it (Today, Johnny Kowalski, also known as Johnny Angel)
Johnny don't do it (and his young fiance Francine, were tragically killed)
Johnny don't do it (in a cycle accident)
Don't do it, don't do it (any witnesses please contact)
Don't do it, don't do it (the police at Precinct 29)
Now Johnny's with the angels
The angels in the sky
I wonder if he thinks of us
As he goes riding by
If only had listened
Oh the number of times we tried
To tell him
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
He was an angel
Johnny don't do it
Such an angel
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
Johnny don't do it
2. Sand In My Face
I looked in the mirror
(What did you see looking at you?)
I saw a nine stone weakling
(What will you do?)
Dynamic Tension waiting for you?
Dynamic Tension make a man out of you
I opened my magazine
(What did you see?)
I saw Mr. France
(What did he have?)
A girl on each shoulder
(What else?)
And one in his pants
Dynamic Tension can do this for you
Dynamic Tension make a man out of
You you you you you
So our hero goes down to the beach
He's in real terrible shape
His chick's been seen with big Alex
That mother kicked sand in his face
Now let me tell you about Alex
He's got:
Hands like hams
Knees like trees
200 lbs
Of surfboard Hercules
Mr. Atlas won't you bring her on back to me
I lost my girl down by the beach
She's with Alex and she's out of reach
So please Mr. Atlas won't you bring her on back to me
I saw your body in an advert on T.V.
But what convinced me was your money back guarantee
Now I'm stronger than Alex
(Where is he now?)
He's left in disgrace
(Oh yeah?)
'Cos I took back my girlfriend
(Ha, ha, ha, ha)
And kicked sand in his face
(In his eyes, in his ears, in his nose)
Dynamic Tension waiting for you
Dynamic Tension make a man out of you
Dynamic Tension, Dynamic Tension
Dynamic Tension, Dynamic Tension
3. Donna
Oh Donna
You made me stand up
You made me sit down, Donna
Sit down, Donna
Sit down
You made stand up
Donna waiting by the telephone
Donna waiting for the phone to ring
Oh Donna
You make me break up
You make me break down, Donna
Break down, Donna
Break down
You make me break up
Meanwhile waiting by the telephone
Donna is waiting for the phone to ring
Hello, darling
Yes I love you darling
Yes I love you
Oh Donna
You made me stand up
You made me sit down, Donna
Sit down, Donna
Sit down
You make stand up
Donna I'd stand on my head for you
Oh my love, my own one
Oh my love, my own one
Donna waiting by the telephone
Donna waiting for the phone to ring
Oh Donna
Oh Donna
Oh Donna
Oh Donna
Donna I love you
4. The Dean and I
Hum drum days
And a hum drum ways
Hey kids, let me tell you how I met your mom
We were dancin' and romancin' at the Senior Prom
It was no infatuation
But a gradual graduation
From a boy to a man
Let me tell you while I can
The soda pop came free
Hey Sis, one kiss, and I was heaven bound
Now who would have guessed Milton's paradise lost could be found
But in the eyes of the Dean, his daughter
Was doin' what she shouldn'a oughta
But a man's gotta do
What a man's gotta do
The consequence should be
Church bells, three swells
The Dean, his daughter and me
They were dating in the park
They were smooching in the dark
Of a doorway for two
She whispered I love you -
Ooh, you know I never felt this way before
Ooh, you know the elevator in my heart
Has gone awol, awol, awol, awol
And then I kissed her
And when I kissed her
It's a wonderful world
When you're rolling in kisses
Now, the paint is peeling
(Hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, and when the chips are down
(Hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, you kinda lose all feeling
(Hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Now, your head goes round and round
(Hum drum days and hum drum ways)
Round and round and round and round and round
I'm throwing myself off this train
Hum drum days
And a hum drum ways
Hum drum days, he's got
Hum drum ways, oh boy
Hey, you know I'm really earning now
My ship came in with a cargo of dollars
My name's lit up on the prow
It's a wonderful world
When you're rolling in dollars
Now!
7. Rubber Bullets
I went to a party at the local county jail
All the cons were dancing and the band began to wail
But the guys were indiscreet
They were brawling in the street
At the local dance at the local county jail
Well the band were playing
And the booze began to flow
But the sound came over on the police car radio
Down at Precinct 49
Having a tear-gas of a time
Sergeant Baker got a call from the governor of the county jail
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
I love to hear those convicts squeal
It's a shame these slugs ain't real
But we can't have dancin' at the local county jail
Sergeant Baker and his men made a bee-line for the jail
And for miles around
You could hear the sirens wail
There's a rumor goin' round death row
That a fuse is gonna blow
At the local hop at the local county jail
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Sergeant Baker started talkin'
With a bullhorn in his hand
He was cool, he was clear
He was always in command
He said Blood will flow;
Here Padre
Padre you talk to your boys...
Trust in me -
God will come to set you free
Well we don't understand
Why you called in the National Guard
When Uncle Sam is the one
Who belongs in the exercise yard
We all got balls and brains
But some's got balls and chains
At the local dance at the local county jail
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Load up, load up, load up with rubber bullets
Is it really such a crime
For a guy to spend his time
At the local dance at the local county jail
At the local dance at the local county jail
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
Whatcha gonna do about it, whatcha gonna do
8. The Hospital Song
Nobody sends me birthday cards
Nobody brings me flowers
I'm just here for operations
I've been out for hours
When I come to I'll wet my bed
'Cos when I get mad I sink so low
As matron knows
I get off on what you give me, darling
I get off on what you give to me
Yeh, I get off on what you give me, darling
I get off on what you give to me
And when I go to that seedy ward
Up in the sky
You'll be waiting
With a hypodermic needle
And a graph
Here comes the dark
(I'm grateful for my anaesthetic)
Out goes the spark
(Delirious and apathetic)
When I come to
I'll wet my bed
And when I get well
I'll take revenge
I'll wreak my wrath
On all blood donors
And their sisters
Visiting time and flowers
When sister brings that bedpan round
I'll piss like April showers
I get off on what you give me, darling
I get off on what you give to me
Yeh, I get off on what you give me, darling
I get off on what you give to me
And when I go
I'll die of plaster casting love
